I often get people ask me how me and my boyfriend met, and they are often shocked when the answer isn’t ‘tinder’ or ‘bumble’.
In regards to dating and such I have never been one to hop on the online dating/ hook up apps. I was single for two years before I met my boyfriend and I only downloaded tinder on a drunken night out in attempts to match with a guy I thought was attractive and pretty much never touched it again.
I think I tried it once more after I was more curious as to how it worked, although without realising how much of a commitment tinder is and I didn’t reply to someone for a week and consequently was left on seen. However, this post isn’t about demeaning the use of tinder and how it’s ‘just a hook up app’. I want to stress that I know many people that have found a happy and healthy relationship through tinder and apps alike.
I think my only issue with Tinder is that it’s become something that many use for when they’re feeling lonely. I know a few people who literally only use tinder for hook ups and it would shock you to find out then when it was created, enhancing hook up culture wasn’t it’s intention. According to psychology today , Tinder’s main function was to make dating easier, but in a study conducted by Leah LeFebvre, 51.5 per cent believe it’s just a hook up app (stop thinking with your genitalia everyone x). Many also use it as a means of meeting people when lonely, you may not necessarily like the person you match with and talk to but the kind comments like ‘you’re very attractive’ and a heart eyes emoji from a stranger turns off the lonely switch somehow.
Gone are the days where you organise a spontaneous lunch trip with your friend when you’re feeling a little down. We don’t walk our dogs if we’re feeling lonely, we don’t go to the pub to meet friends with an hours notice. No, when we’re feeling lonely we hop on an app and talk to strangers to feel desired.
When in the ‘just dating’ phase of my current relationship, I was genuinely so upset when I found out that he had Tinder. I was gutted in that I thought he wasn’t feeling the same way about me and that I should just leave now. I raised it with him later and he said that he doesn’t use it anymore he just has the app, he even went as far as to let me look at who he’s messaged and all that but I didn’t take the offer because I trusted what he was saying.
This whole ordeal genuinely makes me so ashamed of myself that I was upset he had the app and I should have just shrugged it off. Tinder and apps alike has essentially made it easier for people to meet, it’s gotten rid of that awkward middle ground for a LOT of people.
Picture this, you’re at the local ‘Saturday night’ bar/hotel, you see someone you find attractive, you haven’t had enough alcohol to approach them yet, you instead wait for them to approach you. This goes on for an hour, you hit the dance floor just hoping they’ll try and dance with you, someone else does but they aren’t your type.
In the end, you go home disappointed that you didn’t work up the courage to ask them out. You hop on your phone to find tinder alerting you of new matches, and LO AND BEHOLD….. Hot stranger has super liked you.
Of course I am not a tinder extraordinaire and this is all hypothetical, and I have only known this to happen like three times, but you get my point.
So, Tinder, I welcome you to match my friends with strangers.