What’s up with me

Hi guys,

I hope everyone has been well. I haven’t posted in ages and the only real excuse I have is that life just gets busy. During winter I was spending a lot of my weekends skiing and when I wasn’t skiing I was helping around the house to help my parents out. I’ve also been working on my own self care as I resigned from my second job two weeks ago and have decided to spend my now abundance of spare time doing things that make me genuinely happy. Things like watching netflix shows, playing with my dogs, going to the gym and reading, just to name a few.

One of the main reasons I’ve decided that I need to practice self care more is that I was recently diagnosed with Scoliosis Kyphosis. For those who don’t want to read the link, its a spinal curve both as a sideways ‘S’ shape and a forward spinal curve. A couple of my vertebrae essentially didn’t form properly, leading to these curves. It’s something that while it has definitely taken a toll on my self confidence, its not that major. The one relief I got out of the whole process was that there was a reason behind my chronic back pain.

Scoliosis is something that is generally spotted at an early age (pre-teen) but was missed with me. I had a specialist tell me that it was missed purely because I have managed to grow a centred torso, whereas a lot of patients will be slightly off to one side. In the words of the surprisingly blunt specialist “You’re quite centred, so I can understand why this has only been spotted at 22, others are quite unaesthetic”.

Those who are diagnosed at a young age can generally stop it from getting any worse, if you’re an adult though its a bit trickier and I was pretty much told that ‘it cant be fully straightened, but it can be prevented from getting any worse’ (yay me!).

I am in no means trying to organise a pity party for myself. I personally believe that admitting your challenges and discussing them with others is a pillar of self care. This is the card I have been dealt and that’s okay. I did a face mask and watched a rom-com, now I’m ready to face this challenge and move on. How are you practicing self care and what does it mean to you?

I’m off to the THIS THAT festival this weekend, hopefully have some nice pics to share then, for the time being enjoy this photo of me before going to Yours & Owls the beginning of October xx

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Tinder aint so bad….

I often get people ask me how me and my boyfriend met, and they are often shocked when the answer isn’t ‘tinder’ or ‘bumble’.

In regards to dating and such I have never been one to hop on the online dating/ hook up apps. I was single for two years before I met my boyfriend and I only downloaded tinder on a drunken night out in attempts to match with a guy I thought was attractive and pretty much never touched it again.

I think I tried it once more after I was more curious as to how it worked, although without realising how much of a commitment tinder is and I didn’t reply to someone for a week and consequently was left on seen. However, this post isn’t about demeaning the use of tinder and how it’s ‘just a hook up app’. I want to stress that I know many people that have found a happy and healthy relationship through tinder and apps alike.

I think my only issue with Tinder is that it’s become something that many use for when they’re feeling lonely. I know a few people who literally only use tinder for hook ups and it would shock you to find out then when it was created, enhancing hook up culture wasn’t it’s intention. According to psychology today , Tinder’s main function was to make dating easier, but in a study conducted by Leah LeFebvre, 51.5 per cent believe it’s just a hook up app (stop thinking with your genitalia everyone x). Many also use it as a means of meeting people when lonely, you may not necessarily like the person you match with and talk to but the kind comments like ‘you’re very attractive’ and a heart eyes emoji from a stranger turns off the lonely switch somehow.

Gone are the days where you organise a spontaneous lunch trip with your friend when you’re feeling a little down. We don’t walk our dogs if we’re feeling lonely, we don’t go to the pub to meet friends with an hours notice. No, when we’re feeling lonely we hop on an app and talk to strangers to feel desired.

When in the ‘just dating’ phase of my current relationship, I was genuinely so upset when I found out that he had Tinder. I was gutted in that I thought he wasn’t feeling the same way about me and that I should just leave now. I raised it with him later and he said that he doesn’t use it anymore he just has the app, he even went as far as to let me look at who he’s messaged and all that but I didn’t take the offer because I trusted what he was saying.

This whole ordeal genuinely makes me so ashamed of myself that I was upset he had the app and I should have just shrugged it off. Tinder and apps alike has essentially made it easier for people to meet, it’s gotten rid of that awkward middle ground for a LOT of people.

Picture this, you’re at the local ‘Saturday night’ bar/hotel, you see someone you find attractive, you haven’t had enough alcohol to approach them yet, you instead wait for them to approach you. This goes on for an hour, you hit the dance floor just hoping they’ll try and dance with you, someone else does but they aren’t your type.

In the end, you go home disappointed that you didn’t work up the courage to ask them out. You hop on your phone to find tinder alerting you of new matches, and LO AND BEHOLD….. Hot stranger has super liked you.

Of course I am not a tinder extraordinaire and this is all hypothetical, and I have only known this to happen like three times, but you get my point.

So, Tinder, I welcome you to match my friends with strangers.

 

 

What I learned about travelling with my best friend

Recently I’ve been in a big mood of reflection, how did I get to where I am and whether I’m happy with the decisions I made to get to where I am. One big turning point in my life was when I decided to go on an overseas trip with my best friend (at the time). I think doing something like that is a huge commitment and also a huge trust exercise.

The whole trip was incredible and I loved every second, even the not so great moments were memorable. I did two tours, both with contiki (incredible). The main thing that I loved about travelling with Contiki was the other travellers I met along the way. At the end of a Contiki tour and I imagine the end of a TopDeck tour as well, they get you to fill out a survey of how you liked your trip and what was your favourite part and each tour I ticked ‘Other travellers’ as one of my highlights.

I met so many incredible people who I will never forget, all for different reasons.

Now, back to the point;

I travelled Europe with my best friend and when you commit to something like that with someone you connect so great with (but not in a romantic way) its a big deal. You book it with the knowledge you’ll probably argue and you try and decipher what would be the best way to conquer it. We decided that just giving each other space until we were over what we were angry about would be the best move however that wasn’t always the case.

Travelling with my best friend taught me that you may not be as similar as you thought you were. This of course isn’t a problem at all however spending so much time together it can be hard because you aren’t always on the same page.

Travelling with your best friend essentially translates to ‘travelling with your non-romantic partner’ you fight like a couple, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you make up as quickly as a couple. I am quite stubborn, and when I ‘know’ I’m right I won’t necessarily take into consideration what the opposing position has to say. Of course, my best friend knew this trait of mine.

At points of the trip, probably the hardest points for me, we would disagree on things and I could literally see how much this girl was growing to hate me. I’m not sure if I could’ve done one thing different to stop this from happening or what but honestly it was wrenching knowing that someone so important to you was developing such a strong dislike for you that there really was no reversing it.

It’s been nearly two years since this trip and the last time I spoke to this girl wasn’t last Christmas, but the Christmas before, and it wasn’t pleasant. I often think about how our friendship ended on many unanswered questions and how it ended on bad blood and essentially a divided friendship group. I don’t regret not being friends with this girl, but I regret how so many people managed to get involved and left many people not speaking.

Knowing this girl, it’s typical of her to want to make our break of friendship as public as possible. Her close friends don’t like me (which is fine) but what’s not fine is that their reason for not liking me is based on my ex best friend’s opinion of me. I know I can’t please everyone but not liking someone based on someone else’s opinion is absolute rubbish.

What I learnt most from travelling with my best friend is that I didn’t know what this girl REALLY was like at all. If you are planning on taking a trip with your bestie, please either think of a good way to overcome any differences that isn’t just leaving each other alone for a bit (C O M M U N I C A T I O N!!!) and simply think whether you can do it without wanting to rip each other’s heads off (to put it lightly).

I hope this post gives people a bit of help and guidance in whether or not travelling with their best friend would suit your personalities and whether you should do it in general. I know I looked at posts about travelling with your best friend before I went and I wish I had listened to them so if you read this and ignore it anyway, I know how you feel!

Hope everyone has a lovely day and safe travels xx

KathrynIMG_1614

(Mykonos, 2017)

Update on Me and Uni

Hello everyone!

This blog began when I started university and I needed to blog as it was a part of the curriculum. Now, 3 years on and I graduated officially last Tuesday! I graduated with a Bachelor of Communications & Media Studies with a major in Marketing & Advertising (what a mouthful!).

I’m the youngest in the family (Not technically as I have a twin sister and she was born after me, but we both share the role of being the youngest), I am however the first amongst my cousins and siblings to graduate from University. As you can imagine, my parents were very proud of me. It’s been a very big week for me, my twin came down to watch me graduate and so did my big sister. My twin is definitely one of the biggest supports in my life and has always backed my decisions no matter how ridiculous or huge.

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My boyfriend Mitch of course has been an absolute angel the whole time we’ve been together and I’ve been at uni. We met midway through my second year (also his second year) and we of course have both tried to help each other through the back end of our degrees.

He was able to help me more only because he did a Bachelor of Business with majors in International Business and Accounting and while I could help with his International Business subjects, I wasn’t much help in his accounting ones because I really just suck at maths. My way of helping was mainly just making him tea while he did assignments and doing his referencing, whereas he proofread the majority of my essays and research projects.

Anyway! I thought I would talk about where I am at now, as more of an update from my first ever post introducing myself.

When I started Uni at the University of Wollongong I had my heart broken maybe a month before. My first boyfriend had dumped me and I was at a complete loss of what to do with myself. I remember trying to focus on work and picking up any and every shift I could just to keep my mind off him. Looking back now, while we have no bad blood and I am in no means trying to paint a bad picture, he didn’t treat me well. We were very young and looking back now I genuinely think he only wanted to date me so that he get past and have that first relationship. I was willing to move mountains for him when he really wouldn’t move his car for me if I asked.

I started at Wollongong Uni looking for a clean slate, no one knew how much I was hurting and I was able to paint myself the way I wanted people to see me. I fell for UOW pretty quick, even when I hated my time studying at uni, I loved every second.

In my mid year break in my second year I went on a europe trip with my best friend. I love travelling and loved that trip as I met so many fantastic people, a lot of who I still talk to (not the previously mentioned best friend though). I came home and a week later I went to my (ex) best friend’s boyfriend’s 21st, where I met my now boyfriend.

I would like to say that it is an absolute breath of fresh air being with someone who would do anything to keep a smile on your face. I felt more wanted in the space of 2 months than I did in the year I was with my ex.

I think what I’ve learned in my time at uni is to never doubt my worth, both in work and relationships. I wish I had learned this ages ago as I wouldn’t have been with my ex for so long. At least it didn’t take me very long to get over!

Focus on self improvement and self betterment than trying to boost someone else’s confidence.

 

 

My thoughts on working after high school & Camp America

Hi everyone! I hope we are well.

I’m just gonna dive right in here. I wanted to begin by saying that I have been reading a lot of camp america blogs recently and one thing that is noticeable in all blogs is that none of them are negative (except one that a girl had to fly back home sick). I also realised that these people who have written these blogs are between the ages of 18-22.

Working on these summer camps is something that I’ve honestly always wanted to do since I learned about it. I didn’t apply when I finished high school because I’d just gotten into my first ‘serious’ relationship and I had been accepted into university and was too scared to defer. This is mainly because my big sister dropped out of uni and if I did defer I think my parents would be terrified that I would never go back (4 years later I’m now a graduate yeehaw).

In conjunction with this, one thing that I’ll never understand is why teachers and parents put so much stress on students to go to university straight after high school.

Being one of those kids who did exactly what was expected of her and went to university directly after high school and who now has completed 17 years of schooling, but no life experience. I had to go vote the other day in the State election and despite all my years in education, I realised I was never taught how to vote. I find it outstanding that there are students who are fresh out of school ready to work overseas for 3 months. It shows confidence, determination and motivation. I just wish that I did it too.

It’s so important to figure out what you want in your own time. Don’t let the thoughts and beliefs of others impact how you want to feel and act. Students who take their time in discovering their passion are honestly students that I look up to. Whether it was a gap year you took after high school or in the middle of your degree, good for you! If you’re thinking about doing either of those options, good for you! If you’re like me and decided to finish your degree and have a cheeky 6 week overseas trip in the break, GOOD. FOR. YOU.

The one year I regret is the year I spent after high school at a university I didn’t want to go to in the first place in a relationship that made me unhappy. I’m just thankful that I’m in a really good place right now and I’m essentially just having FOMO of people who are going to work on the camps this summer.

Essentially, I think what i’m trying to say is live YOUR  best life. Not your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/parents/friends best life, just yours.

That’s all for today! Hope I didn’t bore everyone, here’s a photo that I took of the Tasmanian coastline just to finish on a nice note.

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Kathryn xx

P.S. On reflection the only reason I didn’t do Camp America is because of my relationship I had just gotten into and of course, you always fall so flipping hard for your first love which is honestly a rip, first boyfriends suck.

 

Belated International Womens Day

So, International Women’s Day was last Friday and the reason I hadn’t acknowledged it was because it was also my birthday so I had the obligatory birthday celebrations to take part in. For my birthday I ended up going to a concert at Taronga Zoo which was nothing short of amazing. I don’t know what it is about being able to listen to some live music, whilst sitting on a picnic blanket with your closest friends, drinking wine and eating cheese but it was a great way to spend my birthday.

It was also hard for me, because I’m a twin and it was my first birthday not spent with my sister. I told my boyfriend I didn’t want happy birthday sung to me because it felt wrong not having my sister there with me, of which he complied and instead got me to sing ’22’ by Taylor Swift at karaoke following the concert.

Anyway, enough of my birthday, lets talk about women’s day!

All day on the Friday I really wanted to write a post in tribute to my sister, as she inspires me to be the best that I can be, so here it is.

Having a twin is hands down the best thing ever as you’re essentially handed a best friend for life. Sure, when you’re growing up you say that someone else is your best friend but you both know it’s each other.

She has consistently taught me to be more caring towards others and to fight for what I believe in. She always stood up for me and continues to do so and she carries herself in a way that only she knows how. She makes me want to be a better person for her and always knows how to pick me up when I’m down. She’ll do anything for the people she loves, including move hours away with her fiancee meaning she was moving away from her friends and family. My sister motivates, she doesn’t put other girls down.

For my belated International Women’s Day I want to be more like my twin sister and hope that I can have as big a heart as she does.

Born together, best friends forever.

Who’s your role model?

Kathryn xx

 

My Views on V-Day

Isn’t love grand?

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day happening yesterday and of chocolate being half price in supermarkets today I thought it would be an idea to write my views on the holiday.

When I was single I hated the holiday. I was a Valentines Day Grinch if you will. I hated it not just because it celebrated love and I didn’t have any (apart from my dog). I hated that a lot of people used it as a means that they needed to show someone that they cared. I found it insane that people would wait for this special day so that they could finally tell their crush that they liked them.

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I also didn’t like the concept of giving roses on Valentine’s Day, only because I received some from my ex when I was 16, and he didn’t think about the fact that I don’t even like roses and I can guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t like them.

Not to mention I thought this whole holiday was a sales ploy to convince people buy chocolates and flowers, book an expensive dinner out, organise a whole romantic night for their significant other just to drive up sales in that industry.

I genuinely had this belief that you didn’t need a day to show someone that you cared about them, if you care about someone you should show them every day.

Now fast forward 4-5 years…

I literally used Valentines Day as an excuse to buy my boyfriend something. I’ve always been a particularly independent person and even in a relationship I don’t expect anything from my boyfriend. All I want is him to love me (which he does).

I bought him socks with my dogs face on them and I even signed it “Love Pippa xoxo” (my dog).  Yeah, I know, I’m pretty fricken lame.

I only did this because I thought he would appreciate it and I wanted to do something for him (not just because of V-Day). I also thought he would appreciate the humour in it as every time he says hes coming over he says hes coming to visit his other girlfriend.

My dog is OBSESSED with him.

Now that I’m older I essentially view Valentine’s day as an excuse to do something nice for your partner, and to be quite honest I’m a lot happier this way.

I hope everyone felt some love yesterday, I definitely hope you all felt self love.

-Kathryn

 

P.S. He bought me a pyjama set that I had wanted for months if you’re curious.

Has she snapped?

In the preparation of getting ready to graduate (and getting my life together) I’ve decided that life really finds a way of guiding you to where you need to go and what you need to do. All of those who read my posts would definitely know I’ve been a little on edge with trying to get myself a graduate role and how much I want to find the right place for me.

What I’ve decided is that the right place for me at this moment is where I am currently. I’ve decided I need to have a bit of a relax from pushing myself to getting the best possible job for myself and that I should accept that I will land myself the job I want eventually and I should just calm down. I’m constantly being told that I need to be kinder to myself and that I need to just CHILL.

If anyone had told me to just ‘chill’ during my uni degree I honestly would tell them to get stuffed (with more passionate words). And as someone who has always stressed about everything that I can and can’t control, as someone who literally worries and stresses so much she gives herself stress rashes and tonsillitis (yeah, I know) I’m finally understanding the importance of ‘just chill’.

While I’m still learning exactly HOW to chill out, I’ve taken a first (quite large) step by booking an overseas trip with my boyfriend and his family.

Cheers to chilling out my dudes.

-Kathryn

P.S. Yeah, I think she’s finally snapped.

Research update – If only travelling was free!

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(theodysseyonline.com)

Hi Everyone!

My research project has taken a different turn since I last updated everyone. Before it was, ‘Why aren’t Australian domestic students travelling abroad during their time at univerisity?’ I’m now focusing more on whether it is our financial situation as to why students do not travel domestically or abroad during our studies and whether or not our relationships are also a contributing factor. So basically; ‘Is it our financial positions and relationships stopping students from travelling whilst at University?’. 

Many people do wish to travel overseas during their time at university but many also wish to remain at home and gain life experience which could inlcude saving to buy a home with their partner or starting their career. Which is perfectly fine! I’m a fan of long term plans!

After recieving 80 survey respondants (So far) through the social media platforms facebook and twitter, I found people were more likely to respond when it was something that they were interested in. The majority of my survey respondants were people who have already travelled whilst being at university as opposed to students who have not. BCM212 graph

I also found that when trying to recruit survey responders, people were more likely to respond when I posted in a light-hearted manner. Making sure to make others feel like they weren’t forced to take my survey and that they were more helping out. (Which you certainly were)

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Interviewing people is definitely a learnt skill, I found it rather difficult to remain on topic because I would ask questions from their responses or I would relate their response back to my own experience. After relaying the interview in my notes I found that how I had interviewed was to my advantage as the interviewee was more comfortable with how I was relating to their answers of which it allowed them to open up more to me.

That’s where i’m up to at the moment with my research escapade!

Until next time

-K

(if you wish to complete my survey, and are an Australian domestic student, here’s the link! – )