Tinder aint so bad….

I often get people ask me how me and my boyfriend met, and they are often shocked when the answer isn’t ‘tinder’ or ‘bumble’.

In regards to dating and such I have never been one to hop on the online dating/ hook up apps. I was single for two years before I met my boyfriend and I only downloaded tinder on a drunken night out in attempts to match with a guy I thought was attractive and pretty much never touched it again.

I think I tried it once more after I was more curious as to how it worked, although without realising how much of a commitment tinder is and I didn’t reply to someone for a week and consequently was left on seen. However, this post isn’t about demeaning the use of tinder and how it’s ‘just a hook up app’. I want to stress that I know many people that have found a happy and healthy relationship through tinder and apps alike.

I think my only issue with Tinder is that it’s become something that many use for when they’re feeling lonely. I know a few people who literally only use tinder for hook ups and it would shock you to find out then when it was created, enhancing hook up culture wasn’t it’s intention. According to psychology today , Tinder’s main function was to make dating easier, but in a study conducted by Leah LeFebvre, 51.5 per cent believe it’s just a hook up app (stop thinking with your genitalia everyone x). Many also use it as a means of meeting people when lonely, you may not necessarily like the person you match with and talk to but the kind comments like ‘you’re very attractive’ and a heart eyes emoji from a stranger turns off the lonely switch somehow.

Gone are the days where you organise a spontaneous lunch trip with your friend when you’re feeling a little down. We don’t walk our dogs if we’re feeling lonely, we don’t go to the pub to meet friends with an hours notice. No, when we’re feeling lonely we hop on an app and talk to strangers to feel desired.

When in the ‘just dating’ phase of my current relationship, I was genuinely so upset when I found out that he had Tinder. I was gutted in that I thought he wasn’t feeling the same way about me and that I should just leave now. I raised it with him later and he said that he doesn’t use it anymore he just has the app, he even went as far as to let me look at who he’s messaged and all that but I didn’t take the offer because I trusted what he was saying.

This whole ordeal genuinely makes me so ashamed of myself that I was upset he had the app and I should have just shrugged it off. Tinder and apps alike has essentially made it easier for people to meet, it’s gotten rid of that awkward middle ground for a LOT of people.

Picture this, you’re at the local ‘Saturday night’ bar/hotel, you see someone you find attractive, you haven’t had enough alcohol to approach them yet, you instead wait for them to approach you. This goes on for an hour, you hit the dance floor just hoping they’ll try and dance with you, someone else does but they aren’t your type.

In the end, you go home disappointed that you didn’t work up the courage to ask them out. You hop on your phone to find tinder alerting you of new matches, and LO AND BEHOLD….. Hot stranger has super liked you.

Of course I am not a tinder extraordinaire and this is all hypothetical, and I have only known this to happen like three times, but you get my point.

So, Tinder, I welcome you to match my friends with strangers.

 

 

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Hey everyone!

Here is my updated ‘about me’, I hope you guys find me as interesting as I do.

My name is Kathryn and I’m a 22 year old (I want to say girl but should I say woman? Ew) from Sydney, Australia. I’m a self proclaimed extrovert but when it comes to talking about myself I really don’t know how to go about it, so lets see how this goes.

I’m the youngest of 5 along with my twin sister (not identical), I have 4 dogs who are all my babies. I work two jobs currently, one is as an Administrative & Marketing Assistant and the other is as a waitress. I’m a recent graduate who is now just trying to work and earn money so that I can comfortably transition into a lower paying graduate job. My goal is to become a marketing professional and work for a big brand company, I won’t say my first choice only because I still believe the whole ‘if you say it out loud it wont come true’ myth that was drilled in at birthdays from a young age.

My favourite books are probably the Harry Potter series, they’re just timeless and I feel that they appeal to all ages. I’ve read all the books three times so far since I was maybe in year 6 and every time I read them it’s mainly been because I haven’t been able to find a new book to read at that time.

I am however currently reading ‘I built no schools in Kenya’ by Kirsten Drysdale of which I highly recommend if you enjoy a wild ride.

I like to ski in winter and swim in summer (like a lot of people i’m sure) and I am a sucker for a nice cup of tea. I enjoy festivals more than concerts as it’s not as claustrophobic and festivals are a lot more economic.

My favourite festival that i’ve been to in regards to that would have to be Spilt Milk 2017 in Canberra. Lorde headlined and a bunch of my favourite bands played like the Jungle Giants, Winston Surfshirt and What so not. It was the best time with some of my favourite people.

I’m a big advocate for the environment, I do my best to reduce my carbon footprint. I use a keep cup every day, I use a wooden toothbrush, I always bring my own bags for grocery shopping, I very rarely use a plastic straw mainly because I haven’t been able to buy a metal one yet and I donate to environmental organisations.

Saving the planet is something I’ve become very passionate with and one day I hope to work for a not for profit in helping combat effects of climate change and plastic.

That pretty much sums me up, follow me to stay updated on my little adventures xxx

To learn more about climate change: https://www.climatechangeinaustralia.gov.au/en/

 

 

What I learned about travelling with my best friend

Recently I’ve been in a big mood of reflection, how did I get to where I am and whether I’m happy with the decisions I made to get to where I am. One big turning point in my life was when I decided to go on an overseas trip with my best friend (at the time). I think doing something like that is a huge commitment and also a huge trust exercise.

The whole trip was incredible and I loved every second, even the not so great moments were memorable. I did two tours, both with contiki (incredible). The main thing that I loved about travelling with Contiki was the other travellers I met along the way. At the end of a Contiki tour and I imagine the end of a TopDeck tour as well, they get you to fill out a survey of how you liked your trip and what was your favourite part and each tour I ticked ‘Other travellers’ as one of my highlights.

I met so many incredible people who I will never forget, all for different reasons.

Now, back to the point;

I travelled Europe with my best friend and when you commit to something like that with someone you connect so great with (but not in a romantic way) its a big deal. You book it with the knowledge you’ll probably argue and you try and decipher what would be the best way to conquer it. We decided that just giving each other space until we were over what we were angry about would be the best move however that wasn’t always the case.

Travelling with my best friend taught me that you may not be as similar as you thought you were. This of course isn’t a problem at all however spending so much time together it can be hard because you aren’t always on the same page.

Travelling with your best friend essentially translates to ‘travelling with your non-romantic partner’ you fight like a couple, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you make up as quickly as a couple. I am quite stubborn, and when I ‘know’ I’m right I won’t necessarily take into consideration what the opposing position has to say. Of course, my best friend knew this trait of mine.

At points of the trip, probably the hardest points for me, we would disagree on things and I could literally see how much this girl was growing to hate me. I’m not sure if I could’ve done one thing different to stop this from happening or what but honestly it was wrenching knowing that someone so important to you was developing such a strong dislike for you that there really was no reversing it.

It’s been nearly two years since this trip and the last time I spoke to this girl wasn’t last Christmas, but the Christmas before, and it wasn’t pleasant. I often think about how our friendship ended on many unanswered questions and how it ended on bad blood and essentially a divided friendship group. I don’t regret not being friends with this girl, but I regret how so many people managed to get involved and left many people not speaking.

Knowing this girl, it’s typical of her to want to make our break of friendship as public as possible. Her close friends don’t like me (which is fine) but what’s not fine is that their reason for not liking me is based on my ex best friend’s opinion of me. I know I can’t please everyone but not liking someone based on someone else’s opinion is absolute rubbish.

What I learnt most from travelling with my best friend is that I didn’t know what this girl REALLY was like at all. If you are planning on taking a trip with your bestie, please either think of a good way to overcome any differences that isn’t just leaving each other alone for a bit (C O M M U N I C A T I O N!!!) and simply think whether you can do it without wanting to rip each other’s heads off (to put it lightly).

I hope this post gives people a bit of help and guidance in whether or not travelling with their best friend would suit your personalities and whether you should do it in general. I know I looked at posts about travelling with your best friend before I went and I wish I had listened to them so if you read this and ignore it anyway, I know how you feel!

Hope everyone has a lovely day and safe travels xx

KathrynIMG_1614

(Mykonos, 2017)

Update on Me and Uni

Hello everyone!

This blog began when I started university and I needed to blog as it was a part of the curriculum. Now, 3 years on and I graduated officially last Tuesday! I graduated with a Bachelor of Communications & Media Studies with a major in Marketing & Advertising (what a mouthful!).

I’m the youngest in the family (Not technically as I have a twin sister and she was born after me, but we both share the role of being the youngest), I am however the first amongst my cousins and siblings to graduate from University. As you can imagine, my parents were very proud of me. It’s been a very big week for me, my twin came down to watch me graduate and so did my big sister. My twin is definitely one of the biggest supports in my life and has always backed my decisions no matter how ridiculous or huge.

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My boyfriend Mitch of course has been an absolute angel the whole time we’ve been together and I’ve been at uni. We met midway through my second year (also his second year) and we of course have both tried to help each other through the back end of our degrees.

He was able to help me more only because he did a Bachelor of Business with majors in International Business and Accounting and while I could help with his International Business subjects, I wasn’t much help in his accounting ones because I really just suck at maths. My way of helping was mainly just making him tea while he did assignments and doing his referencing, whereas he proofread the majority of my essays and research projects.

Anyway! I thought I would talk about where I am at now, as more of an update from my first ever post introducing myself.

When I started Uni at the University of Wollongong I had my heart broken maybe a month before. My first boyfriend had dumped me and I was at a complete loss of what to do with myself. I remember trying to focus on work and picking up any and every shift I could just to keep my mind off him. Looking back now, while we have no bad blood and I am in no means trying to paint a bad picture, he didn’t treat me well. We were very young and looking back now I genuinely think he only wanted to date me so that he get past and have that first relationship. I was willing to move mountains for him when he really wouldn’t move his car for me if I asked.

I started at Wollongong Uni looking for a clean slate, no one knew how much I was hurting and I was able to paint myself the way I wanted people to see me. I fell for UOW pretty quick, even when I hated my time studying at uni, I loved every second.

In my mid year break in my second year I went on a europe trip with my best friend. I love travelling and loved that trip as I met so many fantastic people, a lot of who I still talk to (not the previously mentioned best friend though). I came home and a week later I went to my (ex) best friend’s boyfriend’s 21st, where I met my now boyfriend.

I would like to say that it is an absolute breath of fresh air being with someone who would do anything to keep a smile on your face. I felt more wanted in the space of 2 months than I did in the year I was with my ex.

I think what I’ve learned in my time at uni is to never doubt my worth, both in work and relationships. I wish I had learned this ages ago as I wouldn’t have been with my ex for so long. At least it didn’t take me very long to get over!

Focus on self improvement and self betterment than trying to boost someone else’s confidence.

 

 

Splendour in the Grass

Hello everyone!

What a glorious Wednesday it has already been! I got to work this morning and I already was waiting in the greenroom on Moshtix (ticketing website if you don’t know what it is) waiting to buy Splendour in the Grass tickets.

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I try every year to get tickets to this event and something always seems to get in the way. Last year it was just sheer panic as I had the tickets but my hesitation led to Moshtix giving them to someone else. The year before I was going to be in Greece and the year before THAT I didn’t have anyone to go with. But THIS YEAR was my year!! The splendy gods were looking down on my boyfriend, his sister and I today and we managed to score ourselves tickets to the “Australian Coachella”.

I think one thing that you need to remember when buying festival tickets is to not panic, I’m a definite worrier at best and let my nerves get the best of me. If you remain cool, calm and collected those tickets are as good as yours.

I’m already freaking out about what I want to wear and how I’m going to maintain my skincare regime while I’m camping (I use to do Scouts so I’m not afraid of camping, just don’t want my acne to creep up). But I am SO EXCITED to just experience the whole festival FINALLY. I won’t lie to you though, tickets were a lil pricey and I’m going to Europe in November so no one ask me to do anything because ya girl is saving (again).

I’m excited to finally see Childish Gambino (If he plays, After his disappearing act at Spilt Milk last year I’m a lil nervy). I’m also excited to visit Byron Bay as I’ve never been before. I’m thinking we’ll drive to Byron a couple of days before just so we can have a little explore. Also, when the festival finishes we have to get up super early to drive home straight away as they both have to drive to Jindabyne to go skiing for a week (which i am also very excited for).

Needless to say, with skiing and Splendour, this winter isn’t going to be a boring one! What are you excited for this winter?

 

Kathryn xx

Waitressing Nightmares #1

Heeeeeeelloooo! I hope everyone is having a great day, my week was fairly average and I’ve been non stop thinking about the last post I made and how I want to kind of lighten the mood.

I’ve been working in the hospitality industry for 7 years now, started at the local Pizza Shop to now a semi fine dining restaurant I have dealt with my fair share of shitty customers. From angry footy lovers yelling at me over the phone that their pizza has the wrong sauce, to having a groomsman at a wedding throw his wine on me when I wouldn’t serve him anymore, to having a middle aged man slap my ass, I’ve survived it all!

So, without further ado, welcome to my worst waitressing experiences.

My first proper waitressing/ bartending job was in an old style English pub where it was a bistro deal, so there was no table service. You had to order at the bar and we would bring the food to you. I would also like to acknowledge that while some chefs can be the nicest people you will ever meet, some can also essentially be worse than Satan.

The Head Chef at this pub had his favourites and I definitely wasn’t one of them even though I worked there for 2 years. Now I’m only going to talk about one incident with this man as there are MANY (which was honestly workplace bullying but don’t worry, he was sacked, sadly not when I worked there). This chef was a middle aged man who I think thrived on making people cry (And throwing the odd pan at ya head but that’s a day in the life of a waitress in some cases).

I came in for an 8 hour shift and I was to be working on several functions that day and I came from my first job where I think I had already worked 8 hours (hospitality am i right). I had my hair in braids for my first job and decided to take the braids out and just put my hair in a ponytail for work at the pub which was how I normally wore it.

Now, I’m sure a lot of you have some curly hair after having braids in for 8 hours (I can’t be the only one). I had been working on a function for I reckon two to three hours and I had walked into the kitchen to ask how far away the main course was. This Head Chef turned and YELLED at me for how my hair was and how “I’m a disgrace to this business coming to work presented like that” and how “If a customer complains about hair in their food, I’m dragging you out to them to show them who the culprit is”. This was followed by “Go and fix your hair and don’t even think about coming back into my kitchen before you do”.

Of course, being EXHAUSTED from already working 10 hours and having worked a 65 hour week, I wasn’t afraid of death and I didn’t fix my hair. Consequently, he didn’t bring it up again with me but who’s to say he didn’t have a whinge to a supervisor which probably told him the logical thing in that ‘Kathryn’s hair is in a ponytail the only difference is her hair is curly’.

Sometimes this chef would be nice (ONLY SOMETIMES) but it would come like once in the day and randomly he would realise he’s been too okay and would just have a go at someone. To this day I wonder if he thinks how stupid he sounded yelling at me for having my hair in a ponytail. Probably not.

Whoever says wait staff don’t work hard enough (and back of house!) are honestly, full of shit.

I’m thinking I might make this a bit of a series because I have got some horrors let me tell YOU. Thought I would start little and work my way up to the bad stuff.

Have a great weekend xxx

Kathryn

My (very minor) existential crisis

Hi Everyone,

Recently I received feedback from an interview that I had had for a media assistant position and although I had applied for it a while ago and I had gotten another job offer, I still went for the interview. The two girls that interviewed me were lovely, I was late due to train issues and that I was going into the heart of Sydney straight from where I work (about an hour away) but they were fine with it. I think because of my train mishap I was already quite flustered and stressed when I entered the interview.

Anyway, I wont bore you with the details. The interview ended and they told me that they would let me know on Friday if I got the job, they did however mention that they had an important lunch on Friday too so I wasn’t sure it was definitely going to be Friday. I sent a follow up email (employers love this, it shows determination) and part of me knew that I hadn’t gotten the job, which is fine. In my follow up email I asked for feedback, which I believe is important because you can sit through a thousand interviews and get rejected a thousand times but if you don’t ask for feedback, when are you going to get the offer?

Her response hit me a lot harder than I thought it was if I’m honest. She was very lovely!! But she did say I lacked confidence and that it was something that needed to be worked on if I was to thrive in the industry (marketing). I’m honestly quite an outspoken person and am not shy when it comes to making friends but boy does that change in a work environment.

When I first start at any job, I am nauseatingly shy. It takes me about 3 weeks to a month to warm up to everyone and honestly the change is generally overnight. One day I’ll be silent and focused on working and the next I’ll be chatting to everyone, engaging in some banter and looking very comfortable (Pretty bloody different hey!).

I’m trying to figure out how I can combat this social anxiety, I know it has to do with confidence and I often watch others and see how confident they are in their jobs and how they carry themselves. I’ve recently been trying the whole ‘Fake it ’til you make it’ tactic in that I just pretend to be confident in what I’m saying and I’m hoping that I’ll just get to the point that I won’t be pretending anymore.

My boyfriend tells me that I need to pretend I have the same amount of confidence as him (easier said than done as he is very confident). But I’ve decided that I need to believe in my ability more, as if I don’t believe in my ability to do a job than why would anyone else?

Sorry for the weird existential crisis post but I think this post was very much something I needed to get off my chest.

Hope everyone has a happy day xx

Kathryn

PS. If you interview for a job ALWAYS send a follow up email! They love it and it puts you that little bit ahead as it shows how keen you are xx

My thoughts on working after high school & Camp America

Hi everyone! I hope we are well.

I’m just gonna dive right in here. I wanted to begin by saying that I have been reading a lot of camp america blogs recently and one thing that is noticeable in all blogs is that none of them are negative (except one that a girl had to fly back home sick). I also realised that these people who have written these blogs are between the ages of 18-22.

Working on these summer camps is something that I’ve honestly always wanted to do since I learned about it. I didn’t apply when I finished high school because I’d just gotten into my first ‘serious’ relationship and I had been accepted into university and was too scared to defer. This is mainly because my big sister dropped out of uni and if I did defer I think my parents would be terrified that I would never go back (4 years later I’m now a graduate yeehaw).

In conjunction with this, one thing that I’ll never understand is why teachers and parents put so much stress on students to go to university straight after high school.

Being one of those kids who did exactly what was expected of her and went to university directly after high school and who now has completed 17 years of schooling, but no life experience. I had to go vote the other day in the State election and despite all my years in education, I realised I was never taught how to vote. I find it outstanding that there are students who are fresh out of school ready to work overseas for 3 months. It shows confidence, determination and motivation. I just wish that I did it too.

It’s so important to figure out what you want in your own time. Don’t let the thoughts and beliefs of others impact how you want to feel and act. Students who take their time in discovering their passion are honestly students that I look up to. Whether it was a gap year you took after high school or in the middle of your degree, good for you! If you’re thinking about doing either of those options, good for you! If you’re like me and decided to finish your degree and have a cheeky 6 week overseas trip in the break, GOOD. FOR. YOU.

The one year I regret is the year I spent after high school at a university I didn’t want to go to in the first place in a relationship that made me unhappy. I’m just thankful that I’m in a really good place right now and I’m essentially just having FOMO of people who are going to work on the camps this summer.

Essentially, I think what i’m trying to say is live YOUR  best life. Not your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/parents/friends best life, just yours.

That’s all for today! Hope I didn’t bore everyone, here’s a photo that I took of the Tasmanian coastline just to finish on a nice note.

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Kathryn xx

P.S. On reflection the only reason I didn’t do Camp America is because of my relationship I had just gotten into and of course, you always fall so flipping hard for your first love which is honestly a rip, first boyfriends suck.

 

Belated International Womens Day

So, International Women’s Day was last Friday and the reason I hadn’t acknowledged it was because it was also my birthday so I had the obligatory birthday celebrations to take part in. For my birthday I ended up going to a concert at Taronga Zoo which was nothing short of amazing. I don’t know what it is about being able to listen to some live music, whilst sitting on a picnic blanket with your closest friends, drinking wine and eating cheese but it was a great way to spend my birthday.

It was also hard for me, because I’m a twin and it was my first birthday not spent with my sister. I told my boyfriend I didn’t want happy birthday sung to me because it felt wrong not having my sister there with me, of which he complied and instead got me to sing ’22’ by Taylor Swift at karaoke following the concert.

Anyway, enough of my birthday, lets talk about women’s day!

All day on the Friday I really wanted to write a post in tribute to my sister, as she inspires me to be the best that I can be, so here it is.

Having a twin is hands down the best thing ever as you’re essentially handed a best friend for life. Sure, when you’re growing up you say that someone else is your best friend but you both know it’s each other.

She has consistently taught me to be more caring towards others and to fight for what I believe in. She always stood up for me and continues to do so and she carries herself in a way that only she knows how. She makes me want to be a better person for her and always knows how to pick me up when I’m down. She’ll do anything for the people she loves, including move hours away with her fiancee meaning she was moving away from her friends and family. My sister motivates, she doesn’t put other girls down.

For my belated International Women’s Day I want to be more like my twin sister and hope that I can have as big a heart as she does.

Born together, best friends forever.

Who’s your role model?

Kathryn xx

 

See you later 21

Hi everyone!!

I’m turning 22 on Friday and I thought in light of this I would reflect on all the things I did in my ‘milestone year’.

I first want to say that being 21 has been great but its not the age that’s made my last year great. I didn’t go to the USA which I think everyone who isn’t Australian thinks is what we do (to be fair though a lot of people do go to America when they turn 21).

2018-2019 has been a huge year for me as I’ve finally finished my uni degree, went onto an unrestricted driving licence, learned how to ski, traveled a bit of Australia (Tasmania & Melbourne) and I essentially did everything that I wanted to do.

The skiing was a big jump for me as I don’t tend to try new things or do anything out of my comfort zone. Realistically, It’s something that I have wanted to try but never had the balls to do. Meeting my boyfriend Mitch in 2017 and ‘officially’ dating at the end of that year (we’d been seeing each other for months, the officially is just a technicality), meant that I had to learn to ski. His whole family are the epitome of ‘snow bunnies’ meaning that when winter starts all they can think about is snow. Of course there’s nothing wrong with that!

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Me & My Boyfriend at Perisher.

I was lucky in that they were very willing to teach me how to ski and were incredibly patient.  I’ve also started recreational reading again as I’ve spent the last four years buried in textbooks on marketing statistics and strategies. I’ve always found reading incredibly calming, it also helps with my nerves as I’m prone to getting stress rashes and being able to read stress free has helped a lot. I’ve already read 2 of the Harry Potters!

Another thing I’ve achieved is completing my bachelors degree. When I received my documents you can imagine I was beyond thrilled, but I didn’t realise the rumours were true in that I had an overwhelming urge to apply for a masters degree. It’s something that I think i’ll still do, but perhaps when I’ve gotten experience and when I’ve paid off that pain in the pits of my tertiary education called a HECS debt. For now, it’s nice to have a break from studying, and it’s nice to know that all my hard work hasn’t been for nothing.

I think one thing  that this past year has taught me is that you should always be challenging yourself and trying new things in that you never really know what might spark your interest!

To conclude, 22 will be a year of work and also just kinda chilling out, and NO STUDYING (maybe leave that for 23?).

My next post will probably be about how badly I sang at karaoke on friday!

Until then, be kind.

Kathryn xx